A New Reality | 3 Stand Up Moves that eliminated dysfunction, boredom and unhealthiness in my bedroom.

Now I know this makes very little sense because most sex is done laying down. And for those of you who have had sex standing up, well, it still died. Most people who have sex for fun, making babies or because they are in love often end up with a dead sex life because they were never taught the purpose of sex.

As a young man I searched for love believing that when I found it, I would be happy. And quite often I associated this love with Sex.  It eluded me so many times that I started to believe that I did not need it anymore. This is when sex just became sex. Most people adopt the beliefs that their family, society and religion gave them as a child and never mature past this point sexually. This often leads to prioritizing family, work, and religion over sexual intimacy while believing that sex does not define the health of the relationship.

I too was on the same path, thinking that my success in life had very little to do with what went on in my bedroom until I became a Personal Trainer and Lifestyle Coach.  When I first started training, I believed that if I focused on my clients' exercise and nutrition, I could help them achieve whatever goals they might have. However, time and time again the same thing kept happening. We would make progress initially and then hit a wall.

This issue frustrated me to such a level that I became driven.

I started studying all the latest diets and workout programs until everything became one big fog. I was reading too many different schools of thought and the information was starting to conflict with one another. Years had passed and I did not feel any closer to the answer than when I started.

Then one day, the answer was revealed to me in the most unexpected way!

I was in the middle of getting a massage with my therapist when we started talking about semen retention.  She told me that her Qi Gong Master had whispered into her ear that he had not released his semen in over a year! She then recommended that I read The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity.

Like most immature and uneducated men, I thought I was going to learn some new sexual positions.

What I learned changed everything.

I learned that there were 3 physical pillars that were essential to optimal health in the human body; exercise, nutrition, and sexual energy.

What hit me, even more, was the fact that sexual energy was not only an essential pillar but also the most powerful one!

It was hard for me to ignore these teaching because they had been passed down for thousands of years. I also noticed that many of the discoveries that I had come across from my earlier research were confirmed in the book.

I started to look at sex as a nutrient for health as opposed to recreation, procreation or an obligation. I started taking a stand and holding a standard around who I connected with sexually.  If they didn't have a foundation in health and fitness then I knew there would be no long-term health or satisfaction in the bedroom.

I started discussing and addressing the sexual dissatisfactions and dysfunctions in my relationships within my small groups.

I assembled several groups of coaches and clients who were courageous enough to test this knowledge. After more than ten thousand hours of coaching, measuring, and having intimate and personal conversations,  we uncovered a few truths about sex, health, and sustainability that has shifted our lives forever!

What is the Truth?

If you do not have a certain level of health, fitness and sexual maturity, you will kill your partner slowly through sex

You can’t do it by yourself.  It takes a community to love your spouse intimately and sexually.

If your sexual practices are not fully transparent and accountable to a trusted circle of friends you are doomed to denial which always leads to sexual dysfunction.

These truths changed everything.

I was willing to let go of the false image of a society-scripted relationship to make room for an authentic, passionate and fulfilling love life that works. I surrendered a marriage, friends, and clients as a result of honoring these truths.

Over the next several years I created a new paradigm around sexual intimacy called Abundant Love. This paradigm is rooted in the truth that we discovered earlier.  It empowers us to view and address sexual energy as an essential pillar of physical health.

I have introduced and taught this sexual healing process to hundreds of clients.

I have an amazing community of abundant lovers who practice, live and teach the Abundant Love lifestyle.

I've have also created a dozen coaches who are well versed in Abundant Love.

Today, I have the most extraordinary loving, sensual and sexual intimate partnership with one of my past clients who is now a coach.  Her name is Chanda Leigh i.e. C. Lei Boss Lady.

Both Chanda and I have several other sexual partners who support and nourish our intimate relationship creating a win/win for everyone.  

Since C.Lei's passion is Music with a minor in Fitness and mine is Fitness with a minor in Music, we combined our passions to create 3D The Boss, a Health and Fitness Pop group that uses  Dance, Fitness and Lifestyle to raise your personal value while learning how to love yourself intimately.

Below are the top three Stand Up moves that you can start applying today to create a whole new outcome in your sexual intimacy and love life.

** WARNING**  If you want to keep your boring and dysfunctional sex life, I suggest you stop reading now.

1.  Stand Above the Noise

Have you ever noticed your self jamming out to a song only to realize how disempowering the lyrics are?  Or you’re really enjoying a song until you hear your child singing it and you realize how destructive it is?

In today's world, there is a lot of music that moves our body but fills our mind with noise.  It’s like playing music on an old record player and hearing all the noise in the background. You receive the benefits of the music at the cost of the chaotic noise.  

The world is crowded and filled with noise that ultimately leaves us feeling unworthy, unloved and disempowered.

When I attended an Anthony Robbins business seminar back in 1999, he used music to raise the vibration of the audience.  He then sat us down and shared with us his teaching because he knew we were in a level of receptivity after we had been dancing and listening to the music for several minutes.  He continued this process for over 8 hours until he awakened us all to a new level of consciousness by quieting the noise.

It is a proven fact that when a person adds movement and sound to words their retention rate goes up exponentially.  When you combine energetic music, fitness dance and higher conscious lyrics you create the most optimal environment to rise above the noise.

If you can not rise above the noise you will continue to bring the chaos into your bedroom which destroys intimacy due to lack of being present.

2. Stand for Yourself

The reason why a lot of people lose their self-worth is that they create boundaries.  

A boundary is like the graded asphalt on both sides of the road. Every time someone goes over it, it grates your nerves.

In life, we attempt to create boundaries for ourselves.   Eventually, a lover, friend or family member sees it as an opportunity to cross it repeatedly. This continues at such a high frequency that it wears you out or destroys your relationship with the other person. When this happens your value of self drops as you witness another failed relationship.  The cycle is then repeated until you begin to accept it as a way of life by numbing yourself to it.

The solution is in creating guidelines.  

A guideline is like the dotted lines on the highway.  It is there to gently remind you and keep you on a path.  If from time to time you or someone else crosses over it, all is well.  It just means that others are on the same path as you.

When you create a clear guideline, you are drawing a line in the sand.  It is on this line that you take a stand. And with this stand, a new standard emerges. After all, stand is the beginning of standard.  

If you can not raise your personal value, you can not bring more value to your partner in the bedroom. The relationship will be doomed by sexual dissatisfaction and boredom.    

3. Stand in the Fire

Courage is like fire and fear is like butter.  

Many of us continue to lose footing as we slip and slide in or fears, excuses, and inadequacies.  We find ourselves in the same place over and over again because we can’t seem to escape our self imposed vat of butter.  

It is only when we apply a consistent application of fire to the butter that we begin to melt away our fear.   Once applied, it is important that we keep the heat applied because the butter will resolidify. When we apply the heat indefinitely, the butter will eventually evaporate.  

When dealing with growth and new awakenings, denial will be your biggest opponent.  Your ego will do everything it can to defend its existence. The only way past your ego is to apply consistent fire in the form of accountability and healthy feedback.

It is important to find a guide who can help you to move past the fears that have paralyzed you.    It is also important to connect with an aligned community that can share your wins and challenges while supporting you on your journey.  Remember, no one does it alone.

Your guide provides you with feedback while your community adds to your accountability.  When the going gets tough, it is those that choose to stand in the fire who will inspire.  

If you do not have accountability and feedback around your intimate and sexual practices then they will not sustain.  

What then?

When you combine a 3-dimensional Approach to creating a new Standard for yourself, then your intimacy and love life will soar to new levels of Abundant Love.

I pray that this has been helpful in lighting a new possibility for your love life!

Did you find this sharing valuable?

If you so, today is YourDay!

Chanda and I have put together a free training showing you exactly how we went from dysfunctional love lives to a loving, intimate and Abundant Loving relationship that cannot be described by words.

Most importantly, we show you how you can duplicate this in your own life faster then we did by applying the lessons learned and being aware of the pitfalls.

You can register here for free:

If your body is buzzing from this post then it will soar from the training.

We look forward to meeting you shortly.  


Chanda and Day